I will be attending a family event this evening at (gasp!) Chilli's
There will be children present. And we cannot guarantee that we will be placed adequate distance from the central "Den of Evil" where they pour the drinks and watch the sports - or that someone nearby might not order a drink and leave it on a neighboring table in plain sight - to ensure we are not consumed with alchohol induced depravity or emerge intact from the depth in which we'll be dining.
Should I not return, or should this blog fall silent, please contact Sen. Michael Waddoups, Stan Lockheart, or the esteemed Paul T. Mero.
They will know what to do.