David Waldman, channeling Rep. Jason Chaffetz and his "Prejean would make a great GOP candidate" meme does a flawless breakdown of GOP recruiting standards:
Conservatives unite around... well, does it really matter? You're angry and organized, who needs sensible rationale?
They'll just take any famous person. Issues and message never mattered. Not since GOPAC developed the campaign in a box.
Balloon Boy. Octomom. The FreeCreditReport.com band guys. The shiniest nickel you ever saw. Whoever. Whatever.
Got a rich sugar daddy to buy you some fake boobs so you could compete in a beauty pageant? Boo! Where's your dignity?
Filmed yourself masturbating? Pervert! Get lost!
Oppose gay marriage? Welcome to the GOP! Wanna run for something?
We've got airport bathroom toe tappers. Page sex chatters. Diaper wearers. And now, sex tape makers. Whatever! We'll take anybody! We're thinking of talking to a guy who got a lot of hits for a YouTube video of himself shitting in a hat, cuz he says the taxes on the hat were too high.
Revolution in '10, baby!